Finding Each Other
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: [TezukaTachibana] They bumped into each other on the street one day, and then they went for coffee. Afterwards, they started meeting up for coffee once a week, to talk of old times. The past is painful, but there's hope for the future.


A/N: I'm not too sure on Tachibana's family structure, so therefore I shall make it up. Yay.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that when I wrote this, I forgot all about Tachibana An's existence. I added three words (his sister and) to try and rectify it -- that doesn't make up for forgetting her, but at least she's somewhat there now.

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Finding Each Other

They bumped into each other in the street one day.

They were much older than the last time they'd seen each other. Things were much different now than they had been in junior high twenty years ago -- but Tachibana Kippei could still recognize Tezuka Kunimitsu, even if Tezuka did not look up for long enough to recognize Tachibana.

But when Tachibana said "Tezuka?" Tezuka looked up, and saw a ghost from his past.

"Tachibana."

"It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has."

"Are you busy?"

"I was just going home from work."

"So was I. Would you like to go for coffee?"

"Yes."

Tachibana knew a quiet place where they could enjoy a cup of coffee and talk about "old times."

However, they had never known each other very well, and the conversation was having a hard time starting itself. Tachibana was beginning to think this had been a bad idea when Tezuka looked up, and said, "Everything changed so fast."

"Things are a lot different once you get past junior high," Tachibana agreed. "What seemed to be the most important things don't matter as much anymore."

"Tennis was everything, then." Tezuka still had that same expressionless face that Tachibabana remembered, and that same monotone -- but there was something sad about his eyes.

"Yes. I was so proud of my team, because they worked so hard to even be allowed to play. Tennis was everything to us because we had to work so hard to be able to keep it."

"I put all of myself into tennis, until the injury. I recovered, but there was always something missing afterwards." Tezuka sighed.

"Things change."

Tezuka nodded. "Things change too fast, and too often."

"Why was tennis everything to you?" Tachibana asked.

"I was good at it. I thought that I could change the world if I played well enough." A strange and bitter little smile appeared on Tezuka's lips. "I should have known that no one can change the world no matter what they do."

Yes, there was a definite sadness there. "The world is bigger than I thought when I was young," Tachibana said. "Still, I do my best."

"That's not always enough."

When had Tezuka become so cynical? Tachibana remembered a captain who had put everything of himself into what he believed in -- but things change.

Still, what had happened to Tezuka to put that sadness in his eyes? Tachibana wanted to know his secret.

"I wish that tennis was everything now," Tezuka said.

"We all wish we were fourteen again."

"True enough."

"It was nice meeting up with you," Tachibana said. "I've lost touch with everyone from my childhood, sadly enough. I wouldn't mind meeting again, if that's all right with you."

"I'd like that," Tezuka said. "I've lost touch with everyone in my childhood, as well."

"We promised to be friends forever, but that's not always the truth, is it?"

"No. I think that's very rare."

"Let's meet again at the same time next week."

After that day, they met for coffee once a week. They talked about what had happened to them after junior high. Slowly, Tachibana learned Tezuka's secret.

After he returned from Germany, his tennis had never been the same. He played well, but his heart just wasn't in it -- until he finally gave it up towards the end of high school. That was the point he lost contact with all of his friends, except for Oishi, who insisted on meeting up once in a while. The rest were only people he saw at tennis practice -- which he no longer attended.

He studied business in university, and afterwards he became very successful. He married a woman he'd dated in university, and they had a son.

"Five years ago, they died in a car accident while I was away on a business trip." Tezuka stared into his mug off coffee, and he could almost see the entire thing being replayed for him in the murky depths. "I rushed home when I got the call, but they died before I got there. My son was four years old."

"I'm sorry," Tachibana said quietly.

"Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't given up on tennis. I might never have married her, and I would never have lost the son I loved."

"You shouldn't think that way. You were happy to be with them while they were alive, weren't you? That's what really counts."

"Yes. I suppose you're right, but --" Tezuka stopped. He had never admitted to anyone what he had almost admitted to Tachibana in that moment -- and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

"But what?"

"I should never have married her," Tezuka replied. Maybe it was time for the truth to come out, after all.

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't love her. I couldn't love her, because I could never love any woman," Tezuka said. Tachibana did not have to question what he meant by that -- it was obvious by the way he said it. "I knew it all along, but I tried to hide from it."

Tachibana was not sure what he could say to something like that. There seemed to be no comfort he could offer. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sure she was happy, anyway."

"I hope so."

Tachibana's story was much less tragic. He also gave up tennis in high school, but he gave it up because he had no time for it. His father was injured at work and was unable to provide for the family anymore, and he had to quit school and go to work in order to keep his family fed. His mother had died several years ago, so he was the only one who could work. Both of his brothers were too young for it.

He cared for them until his sister and both of his brothers were old enough to work and fend for themselves; then he cared for his father until the day he died.

"That was three years ago," Tachibana said. "I've had so many different jobs over the years that it makes my head spin. I really should go back to school and get some kind of degree so that I can do something useful, but I don't really think I can afford it."

Tezuka's head snapped up. "I would be willing to help you with that."

"Oh no, I wouldn't allow you to --"

"If you went through school, then I would be willing to hire you, and you could pay me off that way," Tezuka said. "It would be beneficial to me, since I know you would be a good worker."

"But --"

"Let me do this for you," Tezuka said.

The determined look on his face stopped Tachibana's protests. "Thank you," he said, instead.

Tezuka smiled. It was the first real smile that Tachibana had ever seen on his face.

A year later, Tachibana had finally graduated from high school. He began university and he loved it. He finally felt like he was doing something with his life.

He and Tezuka still met every week for coffee, though most times they would meet at Tezuka's apartment, where Tachibana would ask for help with his homework. He felt like a child again, but it was actually a nice feeling to have.

He was also beginning to feel like a teenager with a crush. He'd never had much time for dating because he had been working such odd jobs for so many years. He'd been with a few people, both men and women, but he'd never been in love. Lately, he was beginning to discover what it felt like to have his heart race and his palms sweat -- and it was useless, because Tezuka was determined never to fall in love. He still blamed himself for his wife's death -- if he had been honest and never married her, she would never have died in that accident, he said. He did not deserve happiness of any kind, he said.

One night, while Tachibana studied and Tezuka watched television, Tachibana decided he couldn't take it anymore.

"Kunimitsu."

"Yes?"

"It's time for you to stop beating yourself up over what you couldn't control," he said. "You need to move on."

"Kippei, I've told you --"

"Yes, I know what you've told me, but I also know that I'm falling in love with you, and it's killing me to see you so miserable," Tachibana said. "There are many things in the past that hurt, but that doesn't mean they should ruin your future. You said it yourself the first time we met up a year ago -- things change."

"Too fast, and too often," Tezuka murmured.

"Sometimes, that change isn't a bad thing," Tachibana said. He put his hand over Tezuka's, and looked into Tezuka's eyes -- which he hoped would not be so sad, one day.

"I'm glad I bumped into you," Tezuka said. "Even though I don't think I deserve to be happy, you've made me happy anyway."

"I'm glad. Can I kiss you?" It seemed so silly; they were both grown men, but Tachibana felt like a teenager again. He hoped he could hold onto that feeling for a while.

"Yes," Tezuka replied.

The past was full of painful things -- but there was hope for the future, after all.


End file.
